Coming To Terms
by scribb1es
Summary: Her mind had been a muddle of confused feelings ever since. Callie had never thought she was into girls, but it was so good, and she couldn't stop feeling like she wanted more. Did she have feelings for the girl opposite her? A one-shot based on a sneak peek for 5x14. Callie/Ximena pairing, and Callie/Mariana sibling moment.


**I did it again. I wrote another one-shot. And this time it's Callie/Ximena.**

 **FYI, I'm still not over that kiss. I don't think I ever will be. And Callie is definitely feeling a thing or two about it.**

 **Anyway. So I watched a sneak peek for next episode (Scars,** **5x14) and I couldn't help but write this. Only because I know it's not going to go anything like this and I'm sad. I love them. If you're not aware of it, Callie is talking with Mariana and Ximena in her room about the possibility of getting back with Aaron (which, for the record, I hope she doesn't).**

 **I have started chaptwe 3 for Serendipity, but it's a slow process because I'm finding it hard. There's a lot going on with the show at the moment, and I feel like I need to incorporate some of it while still making the story my own. I'm about 1k words in at the moment so I'm making progress. Hopefully, once certain things are out the way, I'll find it easier to write. In the mean time, I grant you this!**

 **Please leave a review and let me know how you liked it. I feel like it has the possibility to go a little further, so I might do that if you guys would like me to. Or I can keep it like this. Up to you.**

 **Also, feel free to send me any fic requests, pretty much as long as the are centered around Callie in some way, apart from brallie. You can PM me here, leave it as a review, tweet it to me on twitter (I'm maiamtchls), or even send it as a message through tumblr (victoria-tigress is my regrettable "main", but I don't use it to blog anymore - I use 9teen-wishes, but I'm not sure if I have an ask box). Oh, or curiouscat. That's the same as my twitter.**

 **Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

"What do you mean you don't know?" Mariana frowned. Callie sighed internally. Did they really need to be having this conversation _now_?

"I just don't know," she reiterated, "he said some pretty shitty things and were fought a lot. I'm not sure if it's the best for either of us."

The girl stole another glance at Ximena who was sat beside her sister's bed, trying to work out of she could see how she reacted. But her friend had a great poker face.

"At the end of the day, you gotta do what makes you happy," she smiled. The brunette smiled back, looking shyly at the floor and nodding.

What she had said to her sister was true – she _wasn't_ sure whether she wanted to get back together with Aaron – but it was more than just a result of the breakdown of their relation.

She liked Aaron, of course. He was always there for her, he listened, and he made her laugh. The reason she cut it off in the first place was because she wanted the feelings she had when they first met. When they had been just friends, he was always thoughtful and helped her in any way he could. It had made her heart skip, especially at a time where things weren't always great with AJ. But when they started dating, things had turned sour. Sometimes she felt he was being too controlling or condescending her. They had differences in needs and opinions that made them fight and say cruel things. It wasn't healthy. She wasn't sure if it could ever be healthy with those barricades keeping them apart, but she was willing to try. Start from the beginning when things were good, and they got along.

And then the kiss happened.

Her mind had been a muddle of confused feelings ever since. Callie had never thought she was into girls, but it was _so good,_ and she couldn't stop feeling like she wanted more. Did she have feelings for the girl opposite her? That she couldn't tell.

All she knew was that Ximena's smile made her smile, and she would do anything and everything she could for her. She felt her happiest when they spent time together. She felt free.

So when Ximena kissed her, no, she didn't hate it. In fact, she liked it. Liked it too much for a girl who didn't catch feelings for another girl. And it got her wondering, had she been interested in any others before?

Before she met the Fosters, she had never had time to think about these kinds of feelings. Never had time to focus herself on a relationship. And when she had, she ended up hurt. Had she been ignoring something? Her mother's death caused her to grow up too fast. Without being able to work out who she was. Or who she wasn't. When she had first met the girl now sat in her room, she instantly felt mesmerised. She thought it was because she looked cool, looked interesting, but had it been something more? Had she really been crushing on her all along?

"Hey, Ximena, can I talk to you for a sec?" Stef called from the bedroom door, interrupting the whirlwind inside Callie's brain. She was with Poppy too. It must be about their parents.

"Uh, yeah. Sure," the girl nodded, standing up from her position, she turned back to her friend and smiled, "be back in a bit."

"See ya," the younger girl smiled back. They held eye contact for a period of time that seemed too long. It made Callie's heart jump, before she finally tore her eyes away. Once the older girl had left the room, she let out a shaky breath. Everything was such a mess.

"Is something going on?" Her sister asked as she closed her eyes, causing her to snap them back open.

"What? No. What do you mean?" The elder sister frowned, trying to calm her rapidly beating heart. She wasn't ready for this conversation.

"Between you and Ximena. That seemed intense," she shrugged, "you kept looking over at her, too. And she was looking over at you a _lot_."

"You're seeing things," Callie tried to divert, "there's nothing going on between us."

She stood up and walked over to her bed, hoping it would prompt her sibling to drop the conversation, but she had no such luck.

"It didn't _seem_ like nothing," Mariana countered, "come on. Tell me."

"Mariana. I said there's nothing going on," her sister said sharply, "will you just drop it?"

"I don't believe you," the younger girl retorted, crossing her arms.

"Well that's your problem, not mine," the brunette declared, getting back up from her bed and walking towards the bathroom, hoping to lock the door until her sister stopped.

Mariana grabbed her arm before she had a chance to walk through the door, "And you're being defensive. You wouldn't be defensive if there wasn't anything going on. Callie. Just tell me!"

"We kissed okay! In the church. Are you happy?" Callie exclaimed, exasperated. The youngest sister bulged her eyes in surprise.

"W–What? When?" She spluttered.

"Last week. After the rally," the eldest sighed, wiping her face, "when I went to see her. Shawn sent me the article and we hugged. It just happened."

"Did you like it?" Her younger sister questioned.

"I don't know… No. Yes," the older girl confessed, "yes. Yes I did. And it's messing me up."

"Cal," Mariana breathed, pulling her sister onto her bed when she saw tears begun to form, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you to talk about it."

"It's okay," her sister uttered, "I need to talk to somebody about it. It's killing me. I don't know what to do."

"You know I'm always here," her sister reassured her, enveloping her in a hug, "you can talk to me about anything."

The older girl nodded into her sister's shoulder, willing herself to calm down. Ximena couldn't notice she had been crying when she came back, there would be too many questions and she wasn't sure if she could handle any more. At least not right now.

"I just. I never thought I was into girls," the brunette spilled, "but ever since then, I've not been so sure. I went to so many schools and left so quickly that I never really developed crushes on anyone anyway. Not even boys. Not until I got here. But I've only ever been with guys, so I just didn't think it was possible for me to have feelings for girls too."

"Only having boyfriends doesn't mean you're only into men," Mariana pointed out, "it just means you like guys."

"But why have I never felt this way before? Why _now?"_ Callie queried, "Jude knew he was gay when he was 13. Before then even. I'm almost 18. Why hadn't I realised yet?"

"Mom didn't realise until she was married with a kid," her younger sister reminded her, "just because Jude and other kids worked it out while they were young, doesn't mean you can't realise when you're older."

"I guess," the older girl sighed, "but Mom had crushes on girls when she was in high school. Like Tess."

"You've never had a moment to thing about these things, Cal. You didn't think there was anything to think about," her sibling tried to help her, "maybe you just hadn't met the right person. Like you said, you've only recently been able to let yourself think about guys in that way. Maybe it's just a coincidence that everyone you have developed feelings for up to now is male. Face it, Callie, you wouldn't be this torn up about it if you didn't feel _something._ "

Callie smiled at her younger sister and gave her a nod. The girl smiled back. They sat and talked for a while about everything that was going on in their lives, from school to Callie's art and Mariana's hectic love life. She had called it off with Mat but was still undecided about the other two. Callie shook her head at that news. It was another ten minutes before Lena came up to their room.

"We decided to watch a movie," their mom told them, "do you want to come down and join?"

Both girls nodded eagerly and followed the curly haired woman down the stairs.

The lights on the living room were dim, the only light coming from the TV which was showing the opening titles of a movie that had already been decided.

Callie looked around the room for a place to sit, spotting her friend sat on the couch next to Poppy. Ximena smiled when she spotted her, having her younger sister scoot up a bit and taping the now empty space beside her, inviting her over.

The brunette smiled back and took the spot asking the girl what they were watching.

" _The Hunger Games,_ " the older girl answered, putting her hand in the bowl of popcorn.

As the movie started, Callie looked down beside her, spotting how close their hands were. After a few moments of debating whether to or not, she moved her own to clasp her friends.

Ximena looked over at her at the contact, giving her yet another smile, which she returned. The artist returned her gaze to the screen, as the younger girl shifted her body and laid her head on her shoulder. She squeezed her hand.

Mariana, who was sat in front of the two girls, looked round slightly as she heard her sister's movement, and gave her a knowing smile as she noticed their hold. She winked at her big sister.

Callie just chuckled and shook her head, looking back to watch the movie with her heart feeling content.


End file.
